Nintendo's pitfalls: The features Switch 2 should not have

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We already know that Nintendo is working on a new console to replace the Switch, and there are plenty of wishes online about what the console should offer in terms of digital horsepower, unique features, improved Pro Controllers, expanded online support and much more.

The truth is, however, that I don't think Nintendo needs to do much at all to sell a lot again, and their biggest threat is probably Nintendo themselves. The company has a strange penchant for innovating at all costs, which leads to strange decisions that aggressively backfire on them, while in cases where they definitely need to move forward they instead stubbornly stand still.

So, as a kind soul, I've decided to assist Nintendo a little by not wishing for what they should do to maximise Switch 2 - but by wishing for what they shouldn't do. An anti-desire list, if you will. Here we go!

Keep Friend Codes

Ever since Xbox Live was launched in 2002 and since it really took off in 2005 with the Xbox 360, Xbox gamers have been able to easily add their friends, send messages to whoever they want, and invite each other to a round of Halo or two. But not on Switch. To make sure Switch owners absolutely don't get to know others with the console, there are long codes that no one remembers, which are required to become a friend. And even if you do add a friend, there's hardly any opportunity to do anything with it because the online service is stone dead. Here, everything just needs to be thrown out and redone from scratch.

Switch headsets are completely redundant

For those who want to chat with people online, there are several major hurdles waiting for Switch, not least because of the aforementioned Friend Codes, but also other restrictions. Being able to easily talk to each other is a total given today and Nintendo must offer its own official and simple solution that makes it as easy to chat with people as it has been for the two competing consoles for almost 20 years.

Why not call it Switch U?

You might laugh at that, but as you know, that's exactly what Nintendo was aiming for with the successor to the Wii, which was called the Wii U. Similar in appearance and name but completely different systems, which baffled people to the point where many didn't even realise it was a new console. I know I've written this before, but we even got a call from a panicked mum on a December Monday looking for a Wii U screen for her kids. She only found it with the console, but she already had it, so it was the Wii U screen itself that was needed. You can laugh about it (not so easy!) and I had to explain that she had got it all wrong, but the fault is not hers but Nintendo's. Clearer name and profile so you realise it's something completely new.

Bet on a new, cheeky gimmick

Nintendo wants to offer something new with its consoles at all costs, a feature that no one else has. With the Wii, they actually did a pretty good job of this, but even there it was very overused. We certainly didn't have to shake like a madman on the Wii to spin in Super Mario Galaxy or do tricks in Mario Kart Wii - it would have been more intuitive to just press a button. And for Nintendo 3DS, most had the 3D graphics switched off. Even a blockbuster like the Switch doesn't really have very well-used features (Joy-Cons have an IR camera, for example). Nintendo hardware sells because the games are so incredibly good. Skip the gimmicks, plain and simple.

Make sure to release lots of Switch remasters

Sony was criticised for releasing a lot of remasters when the PlayStation 5 was launched while Microsoft offered improved versions for free via either free updates or built-in features in the Xbox Series X. But Nintendo is on a completely different level to Sony and loves to sell re-releases, their entire Switch Online service is made up purely of games many of us already bought at the time, then to the Wii Virtual Console service and in the odd collection - and now we're paying for them again as a subscription. It's possible to be a lot more generous here, please bear that in mind.

Skip the backwards compatibility

This is a bit related to the above about Switch remasters. Traditionally, Nintendo has been pretty good at backwards compatibility via adapters like the Super Game Boy to Super Nintendo or real support like the Gamecube working with the Wii and Wii U. The Switch has sold an awful lot of games and while it can certainly be a bit of work to create a good emulator of such strange hardware, it has to be done. If the device does not have a cartridge reader, an adapter is also needed so that the transition between generations is smooth and user-friendly.

Go for floppy analogue levers that break down easily

I work with video games and have managed to wear out a controller this generation. It was an Xbox Series S/X-dito, where I used it for PC as well as Xbox. PlayStation 5 has survived - while I've replaced four Joy-Cons, even though I don't even play with them that often (prefer Pro Controllers). The stick drift issues really need to be reviewed and eliminated for good. Quality costs money, but this is really something to prioritise.

Replace SD card technology with something of your own

Upgrading storage to both PS Vita and Xbox Series X/S is very easy. This is because they have so-called proprietary formats, i.e. unique solutions that only work for these two - which in turn has led to high prices. Switch and PlayStation 5, on the other hand, have standard solutions, which means that you can just surf to Price Hunt and buy a suitable SD card or SSD to get gigabytes at low prices. Nintendo often likes its own solutions, but here they are absolutely right and they should definitely not dribble with this.

Analogue trigger buttons are really overrated

Nintendo charges really good money for its Pro Controller, but the fact is that it is several levels worse than both the standard controller for Playstation 5 and Xbox Series X/S. For example, the crossbar is useless, this one also has stick drift problems and also lacks analogue triggers. The ones that look like triggers are instead digital buttons, which means that it is not possible to adjust speed in them in racing games, for example. Pro Controller needs a thorough overhaul and real triggers need to be added (not least for F-Zero which will return sooner or later).